Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
