Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
