That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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