well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
