speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
