hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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