I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
