White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
