just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
