Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
