I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
