She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
