I wanna bring you to show and tell
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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