We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
