Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
