1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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