I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
