SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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