As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
