Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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