HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Randomize
