Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
