Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
