Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
