Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize