If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
