it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
