So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
