It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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