I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Found the puke drawer
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
