I wish I could teleport
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
