I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
