Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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