when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
