This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
