so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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