You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
