So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just pee around me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
