24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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