Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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