I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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