look no pants
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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