Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
