Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
