Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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