your parents love me but you hate me
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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