oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
