morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize