I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
