So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
