Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
