I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
