I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
