and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
