If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
