don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
