Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
