my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Vodka?
Forever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
