pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
