sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
