And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
